lisafredette.com

My Interview on Build You Up Talk Radio

Lisa — Mon, 12 May 2008 15:25:59 +0000

Christina Wiley owner of The Irresistible Woman recently interviewed me on her show Build You Up Talk Radio. The topic of the interview was Turning your Divorce into a Celebration of Life.

Here is what one of the listeners had to say about the show - "I just wanted to let you know you gave an awesome interview on Christina's show. Your interview inspired me and I just wanted to share that with you. I look forward to getting to know you better. I passed your interview on to one of my clients who is recently getting divorced and is overwhelmed. I hope she contacts you." - Tashia Flucas of TMF Accounting

I hope you take the time to listen to the show, I think you will find some helpful information whether you are going through a divorce or not. Oh, I almost forgot - I made a offer to the listeners for a free gift, but you have to listen to the show to get the information. Enjoy!

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My Interview on Web Sorority Talk Radio

Lisa — Wed, 07 May 2008 12:05:31 +0000

I was recently interviewed by Lynne Klippel of Web Sorority Talk Radio. Lynne has an awesome radio show whose mission is to encourage, inspire and inform business women by providing them with information and resources that will support them on both a personal and professional level. The topic of my interview was Have you Lost your Passion for Life.

This is what Lynne has to say about the interview - "Do you find yourself feeling dull, blah, or a bit hopeless about life, business, or relationships? Our frantic pace can lead us to overwhelm. Top that off with a personal transition like a divorce, job or career change, or worry about the economy and it is easy to slip into the doldrums. Join me for a spirited discussion with Coach Lisa Fredette. Lisa shares great tips on how to get your passion back and keep it from leaking out in the future. Pay close attention for the free events Lisa has coming up in early May. They sound terrific. This interview will make you say, 'Yes I can be happy- and I deserve to be!'"

And this is what one of her listeners had to say about the interview - "Great interview! Lynne you are doing a great service to the world, women in particular by offering such wonderful speakers an opportunity to share with us what they do and how they do it…so we can pass it along or use it ourselves if we have such a need. Coaching women going through divorce is definitely a field that needs more people like Lisa to help those stuck in it and unable to move on with their lives.
Great show!" - Ruth Lee

Be sure to stop by Lynne's website and listen to the interview so you too can be inspired as Ruth was. Also be sure to check out the many other interviews that Lynne has posted.

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Empty Nest - What's That?

Lisa — Sun, 04 May 2008 06:00:09 +0000

My daughter started college last fall. In August I packed her up and moved her to her new dorm. We were both very excited. She was full of anticipation for her new found freedom – it was a long summer. I was excited for her because I could remember what it was like being on the verge of adulthood – yet still having the safety net of home.

I returned home and as the weeks went by I was asked by all that knew me, as is natural, how is your daughter doing at college? I would reply, “oh, she absolutely loves it”. Then the inevitable question would come, almost sorrowfully, and how are you handling it?” Me, I would ask? Oh, fine – as long as she is happy I am happy.”

Eventually, getting the same sorrowful question over and over again, I began to wonder if there was something wrong with me, because I wasn’t moping around or depressed because my only child left the nest. I wasn’t reacting as many people expected me to – I was beginning to feel guilty. I questioned to myself, then eventually to my coach, is there something wrong with me – I am almost feeling guilty for not being sad that my daughter is at school. Does that make me a bad mom? Rather than then words like lonely, sad or depressed showing up for me the word that continually showed up for me was freedom. Okay, now I really feel guilty.

After my coaching session with my mentor coach, I was able to reconcile with my feelings. I am not a bad mother, in fact, if I take a look at what parenting is really all about, it is about providing our children with the skills and confidence to go out in the world with excitement and anticipation, with that definition I am an awesome mom. My daughter is able to go into this new stage of her life with anticipation, excitement and confidence. And I am able to go into this new stage of hers and my life with anticipation, excitement and confidence.

So how did we get here? First key point, by not making my daughter my entire life; yes, she was the main focus of my life while she was growing up. I devoted a great many hours of my life to being with her, doing things with her and for her. I made sure that I was available for all the main events in her life and even went as far as coaching her cheerleading squad for four years so I would be close to her and get to know her friends. But, with her encouragement/permission, I also pursued things outside of her world. I set up a life that supported me, in essence modeled for her what it is like to be true to yourself, using the gifts that God gave you. I like to believe that I am partially responsible for the strong, independent and confident person she has become today.

I truly believe that if I hadn’t been a bit selfish, developing interests outside of being her mom, I would have crippled her, making her be the center of my universe. In so doing, would have ruined any opportunity for her to celebrate this stage in hers and my life.

So in answer to the question, Empty-Nest – What’s That? I would respond - I have no idea. Or maybe a better answer is an opportunity to celebrate this new stage in mine and my daughter’s life. If you are struggling with empty-nest syndrome I encourage you to take this opportunity to explore new opportunities, try new things; take that class you always wanted to but didn’t have the time, learn how to dance, take that art class or whatever it is that interests you. Don’t make your children be the center of your universe, they have enough pressure just transitioning from childhood to adulthood - don’t give them the added pressure of completing you. Step out of your fear and into the world of possibility. You will be glad you did and your children will thank you for it.

Need some help changing your perspective on the empty-nest syndrome – need support taking that first step outside your comfort zone? Contact me for a sample coaching session.

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Judy Davids writes about being a Rock Star Mommy

Lisa — Sun, 27 Apr 2008 06:52:25 +0000

I was asked if I wanted to be a part of this virtual blog tour for Judy Davids, author of Rock Star Mommy and I didn't hesitate for one major important reason. Judy is an inspiration to me as a woman who allowed her passion to be seen, heard and best of all realized. And as a speaker and coach about seeking one's passion, I resonated with the book and her as baby boomer woman.

Here are my questions I asked Judy regarding her first book, Rock Star Mommy.

What inspired you to write this book?

Well whenever my band mates and I were interviewed by the media about The Mydols–from our local newspaper to People magazine–we were always regarded as a lifestyle story rather than an music or entertainment story. Reporters were more likely to ask us about our kids or what our husbands thought than about our music. I figured out early on that people were more interested in our story than our songs.

What do your kids think about the book?

My kids are really proud of me. I think they really respect the effort and time it took me to write it. When I got my first copies of the finished book, my son Willie brought it to school to share with his teachers and classmates. He's in seventh grade, so I was kind of worried about what his classmates would think of his self-proclaimed "Rock Star Mommy". I think it could have gone either way. Lucky for Willie his friends all thought it was kind of cool that his mom's in a band.

What is the one main thing you hope your readers take away from your book?

I was 42 years old when I started the Mydols. I think I am proof that you don't have to be young or thin or hip etc. to follow your dreams. I think that is sort of the obvious message. The thing that readers might be surprised to learn is how much my friends and family supported me. I think most people would suspect everyone thought I was nuts, but the opposite was true. It was friends who let the Mydols play in their restaurants, or who lent us instruments, or wrote songs for us and most importantly came to our shows. When you believe in yourself it is contagious and your friends do too. Never underestimate how much your friends love you!

How were you able to find time to write this book while juggling the other areas of you life – being a mom, rock star, etc.?

Well I enjoy all of it–writing, performing and being a mom–so none of it ever feels like work or a chore to me. It's just what I do for fun. If anything suffers it's my house. It's not as clean as I'd like it to be, especially my office. Yikes! What a mess.

Yesterday the blog tour was at Gayle Nicholson, host of Writers Block Radio at http://www.writersblockradio.com

Tomorrow the blog tour continues at Karlyn's blog at http://www.fromkarlyn.com

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Who's in Control?

Lisa — Wed, 16 Apr 2008 20:52:30 +0000

What emotions are showing up over and over again in your life? Is it anger, fear, regret or guilt? Are you able to deal successfully with these feelings? If they continue to show up over and over again or seem to be stronger than appropriate for the situation - I’d say it is safe to assume the answer to that question is no. Why do you suppose that is? Why are you unable to let go of the anger, fear, regret, guilt or whatever feeling that keeps showing up? Is it possible that you believe that you don’t have any control over what you feel – willing to blame others instead of taking responsibility?

Let me share with you a dialogue I recently had with someone. The basis of this conversation was that this woman was angry because she felt her ex-husband was taking advantage of her. She felt she was being generous allowing him to watch their kids in her home because he only had a one bedroom apartment, making this arrangement more comfortable for him and the kids. However, she found evidence that while he was at her house and watching their kids he was engaging in relationships with a young female. Understand this is not a debate as to whether or not she was justified in her feelings or whether he was right or wrong. It is an illustration of how you can decide how you feel and determine who is in control of your life.

Client: Okay so now I'm venting but I really need some advice here, am I over reacting? Coach: Only you can answer this question - do you feel justified in your anger or do you feel that your reaction to this situation is overboard? – Lesson: Here she is seeking permission from others whether her feelings are justified – who is in control here?

Client: Or is it normal to be this angry? Coach: Everyone experiences emotions at different levels - so the question is whether or not you feel that this level of anger is a normal reaction or is there more to the anger then what is showing up on the surface? What is causing such a huge level of anger? What does his behavior mean to you - lack of respect; for you, for himself, for your kids, over stepping boundaries - you not respecting your own boundaries? Dig a little deeper here and see what you find. Lesson: Here I am allowing her to take back some of the control and try to uncover what is causing the anger so she can begin to implement actions that will remove such a strong reaction in the future – again regaining control.

Client: I want to punch a wall right now! Coach: What would be an alternative method for releasing your anger? Physical outlet is a great alternative - punch a pillow maybe instead of a wall, go for a jog or long walk or write down in a notebook or a journal all the angry feelings that you are experiencing. It is definitely a good idea to release these feelings; the key is to do it in a way that is respectful toward you, your kids and yes your ex. Lesson: Here she is given permission to feel and release the emotions while maintaining control over the situation.

Client: So after I found out, I dug through his stupid myspace account, and found out she is some 18 year old girl, not sure whether she is in high school or not. Don't care he's 25! Now that may not seem a huge issue, but he has 2 kids!! That he is supposed to help take care of. Coach: I can surely appreciate your feelings of anger here, however, is it fair to say that it would be extremely difficult and frustrating trying to control another person’s behavior (even if it is the father of your children) because we don't agree with it? How does it make you feel when you try to make him show up differently, frustrated and angry by the sounds of it, yes? What can you do differently here? How can you honor your house, your space and your children - without expecting him to be something different than he is? Lesson: Here she is challenged to try and control only that which she has the ability – herself, her feelings and her environment. The first step in finding peace in your life is understanding that we only have control over what we do and how we feel and letting go of the illusion that we have a right to control others behaviors.

Can you see now that how you react is a matter of choice? I know it sounds easier said then done, but if you want to have control over how you live your life then you must decide how you react to situations and make choices that support what you want. So do you want to take responsibility for how your life is or do you want to continue to be at the mercy of others and allow them to determine whether you are happy or not? It’s your choice, what will it be?

If your choice is to begin to take responsibility for your happiness, then I encourage you to hire a coach to support you – sign up for a free coaching session and take back your control!

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Are you Ready to Get Passionate about Life?

Lisa — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 19:22:23 +0000

The Passionate Growth Spring 2008 Teleseminar Series is here. We have an awesome line up of featured speakers, you won't want to miss a single one.

This six week series will cover the following topics:

- Developing a Positive Relationship with your Teen - presented by Parenting Coach, Barbara Desmarais

- Change your Mindset: Change your Business - presented by Jennifer Ryan of I choose Change

- Don't Apologize; Organize - presented by Professional Organizer, Julie Bestry

- Women & Prosperity - presented by Prosperity Coach, Marilyn Jenett

- Home Design for Greater Abundance - presented by Stephanie McWilliams host of HGTV's Fun Shui

- Spending your Value-Able Life - presented by Cindy Morus; Certified Divorce Financial Analyst

The series begins on May 7, 2008 at 8:30 pm Eastern time. The program will run for six consecutive Wednesdays with a new speaker featured each week. So if you are Ready to Get Passionate about Life again the Passionate Growth Spring 2008 Teleseminar Series is for you.

Not only will you learn from these six amazing women how to design the life of your dreams, many of them are offering free gifts to those who register, so don't delay sign up today at http://lisafredette.com/passionategrowthspring2008.htm. Did I mention - It's Free!!!

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Baby Boomer Girlfriends' Spring Break Weekend Getaway - Don't Miss it!

Lisa — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 15:18:14 +0000

Do you remember when you were a young girl the thrill of having a sleep over with your friends? You packed up your favorite pajamas, your sleeping bag and pillow and begged your mom to hurry up so you could get this sleep over started. You arrive at your friend’s house and see all of your favorite girlfriends waiting for you to get the party started. You all pile into your friends room, you put on your favorite music – turning it up really loud, break out the latest copy of the most popular teen magazine and start snacking on the popcorn, potato chips and other snacks that you snuck into the room. Now you are all set for a night of fun, laughter, gossip and the making of awesome memories that you will carry with you for the rest of your life.

Feeling a bit nostalgic, wish you could go back to that time and experience the magic of hanging out with your girlfriends? Well you are in luck - you can relive these favorite memories by heading to the Baby Boomer Girlfriends’ Spring Break Weekend Getaway – organized by Beverly Mahone founder of Boomer Diva Nation. Reconnect with your younger, carefree and fabulous self and make some new unforgettable memories, too.

Here is what Beverly had to say about the Girlfriends’ Getaway Weekend:

What was your inspiration for Baby Boomer Girlfriends' Spring Break Weekend Getaway?

Beverly: I was looking for a way to connect baby boomer women around the globe for a weekend of social and business networking and to just have some FUN. Initially, the idea was to have a Friday or Saturday night Pajama party where we would fellowship, dance, do some karaoke and share our menopause stories. But then a friend of mine who is the General Manager of a TV station in Daytona Beach, FL offered me the opportunity to tape a Baby Boomer Town Hall Meeting and I just couldn't pass up that deal so, with the help of my wonderful event planner Carol King, we started working on an entire weekend of activities. I've been blessed to have members of my boomer diva nation group step up and volunteer their time and talents to help make this event a success. The Daytona Chamber of Commerce has been absolutely wonderful and Daytona Beach Mayor Glenn Richey is actually going to declare Saturday, April 19 Boomer Diva Nation Day. How cool is that? To be perfectly honest, this weekend has taken on a life all its own but I believe that's the way God intended for it to be.

What is your main goal for the Event?

Beverly: I want this event to be an inspirational experience that they'll never forget! I want everyone to be entertained, educated and empowered. There will be seminars to address our concerns and needs as we grow older. This is also the opportunity to network and fellowship with women you probably wouldn't, otherwise, meet. There are women coming from Ohio, Tennessee, Maryland, North Carolina, New Mexico and even as far away as California. We're also making a donation to the American Heart Association. For me, personally, I'm excited because this is the first time I will get to meet fellow members of the Boomer Diva Nation Group. I met one woman (Linda Alexander) last year but I've only associated with the others through online networking so this will be an absolute thrill for me! When it's all over, I want women to walk away with renewed strength and to be encouraged. Our group's motto is: Women on the Move and Making a Difference. I hope they will take that statement to heart and go back to their home communities and be the change they want to see in their worlds. One thing for sure, they'll be telling their friends all about it!

What is next for Boomer Diva Nation in 2008?

Beverly: There is so much talent in this group and I want to make sure the whole world knows about the wonderful resources these women have to offer. One of our missions is to offer an annual scholarship of some kind. We're still working out the details for that. I plan to make the baby Boomer Girlfriends Spring Break an annual event so the planning is already starting for the next one. This group has been a total blessing! The beautiful thing about the ladies of Boomer Diva Nation is we're all working together to make each other better. I really do believe the sky's the limit for us. Jeremiah 29:11 says, "For I know the plans I have for you. Plans to prosper you and not harm you." We're on a mission with God leading the way!

Hear more on what Beverly has to say about this Girlfriend Gathering by checking out Debbie Zipp’s interview at http://inthetrenchesproductions.com/blog/ and be sure to stop by www.yeahmom.com too!

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Life is not a Dress Rehearsal - Are you living yours as if?

Lisa — Sat, 29 Mar 2008 14:05:31 +0000

Are you living your life the way you want to? If you die tomorrow will you have fulfilled all of your dreams? If not what are you waiting for – this is not a dress rehearsal – this is all we get, are you taking advantage of this opportunity? What is your legacy?

If you answered no to any of these questions – what is it that is holding you back? What story are you telling yourself that keeps you from living up to your potential? Could it be that you don’t have enough time, you don’t have enough money or you don’t have the knowledge?

Fear or our stories, which ever you want to call it, keeps us safe. So what is it that you are afraid of? What is your story? Are you really willing to leave this earth without fully tapping into your potential – I know I am not – are you? So what are you going to do about it?

Let’s just take a moment and reflect. How many times in one day do you say that you can’t do something that you really want to do because you believe you should do something else? Is it really that important? What will happen if you don’t do it?

If you had the resources, time, and knew you would not fail – what would you do? Come on now I know there is something – it just may take some time to find it because you have been trained to suppress the things that make you happy. Really dig deep here. Okay, so why are you not doing it? What is it that is holding you back? What story are you telling yourself that allows you to stay stuck in mediocrity?

My challenge to you is to look in the mirror and ask yourself – what is it that I really want my legacy to be – how do I want to be remembered? What answer did you come up with?

Okay now my next challenge to you is to find the off button – you know the one that says auto-pilot. Turn it off and begin living your life on purpose. Stop each time you are going to do something and question why – are you doing it because that is what is expected, or are you doing it because that is what you have always done but not really sure why? Now is your chance to ask why – why do you do what you do and does it honor who you are?

I have found that we are conditioned to certain behaviors from childhood because that is all we know – until we have an opportunity to explore our outside world. Are you ready to start exploring? I remember quite clearly when I realized that there were other religions other than Roman Catholic. I was raised in a Catholic family and went to a Catholic school until sixth grade – imagine my amazement when I transferred to the public school in seventh grade and realized that some of my friends were Methodist and Lutheran. Go figure – who knew there was more than one religion?

So what childhood conditioning do you carry with you that you have not taken the time to question? Does it really reflect who you are now? Could that be the reason why you have lost your passion for life? Could it be that you are living someone else’s story? Isn’t it time to start writing a new story - yours?

Are you ready to turn off that auto-pilot and begin living your life consciously? Are you ready to begin writing your own personal story – one that reflects your true authentic self? If so then contact me for a coaching session today and begin regaining your passion for life! Make 2008 the year that you begin defining your legacy!

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Do They Get It?

Lisa — Tue, 18 Mar 2008 19:44:10 +0000

Have you ever experienced the glazed look in your children’s eyes – you know the one - that look you get when you are trying to instill some bit of wisdom or lesson? This look can make you feel frustrated and you wonder whether or not you are getting through to them. So do they get it – or are you just wasting your breath?

I am reminded, as another Holiday approaches, of a conversation I had with a mother this past Christmas holiday about baking cookies, putting up the tree, wrapping the gifts and everything else that goes along with it. I admitted, which if anyone knows me knows that I swore I would never do – that I broke down and purchased a fake tree this year, it’s just easier I said. In the past I would always argue that if you are going to have a fake tree you might as well have fake presents under it. Funny how what you say comes back to bite you – so be cautious of your words. Well anyway, I am getting off track here. We eventually got to the age old issue of how each year it seems as if Christmas creeps up so quickly and we don’t always have time to get everything done.

This mother shared with me that one year it so happened that the weeks leading up to Christmas was so chaotic – with her job and other commitments – that she was facing Christmas eve and no tree decorated. The tree was up but it wasn’t decorated, so as she was running out the door to yet another commitment she said to her children, “there are the decorations, can you please get the tree decorated”. The mother then admitted to me that she is very particular about how her tree is decorated – can any of you relate? Then almost with tears in her eyes she said that when she came home the tree was decorated exactly as she would have done it – “they do pay attention”. You see there was a special place for certain special ornaments and the children made sure they were hung in the exact right places.

So you may be frustrated because you think that your children aren’t hearing you – and maybe they are not hearing you - but you can bet they are seeing you. What are your actions teaching them? This story shows that we instill values and beliefs in our children based more on our actions then our words – remember the old saying “actions speak louder than words”. This is very true for our children.

Life can get pretty busy and sometimes we run on auto-pilot to just get through the day. My challenge to you is to turn off the auto-pilot and begin to live each day consciously, think about what you do and how your actions impact your children. Be the person you want your children to be – then just maybe when you speak to them their eyes won’t glaze over – or even if they do you will know that they still hear you. And maybe just maybe one day you will be sharing your story with tears in your eyes saying “they really do get it”.

Need help turning off the auto-pilot? Then sign up for a sample coaching session.

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Are you an Irresistible Woman?

Lisa — Sat, 15 Mar 2008 14:25:47 +0000

I just recently interviewed an amazing woman, Christina Wiley on my Radio Show – Living Passionately. Christina is an inspiring, motivating, and fun coach whose down to earth, straight-forward and open communication style makes her a favorite with women in North America.

Christina is a Certified Human Behavior Consultant and Leadership Training Specialist. She has conducted training for national sales organizations as well as local women’s groups.

She is passionate about helping women have a happier, more satisfied and fulfilled life empowered to be all that they truly were designed to be - an Irresistible Woman™.

Christina provides women with specific practical tips and tools that they can use and implement right away to get immediate results as well as benefit from for years to come.

Christina shared with the audience highlights from her recently released special report “20 Tips on How to Become An Irresistible Woman”.

We discussed the four principles of being an irresistible woman as outlined in her special report. Christina shared with the listeners what a woman’s irresistible quotient is and how to find out what yours.

She also provided listeners with examples of irresistible women who have impacted her life and those who have benefitted from implementing the strategies from her special report into their lives. Christina also shared how she became so passionate about providing women with the tools on how they too can become an irresistible woman.

Be sure to check out the interview at Blog Talk Radio Womanly Insights – Living Passionately Radio Show and be sure to grab your copy of the 20 Tips on How to Become An Irresistible Woman.

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