Failure - What if there was no such thing?

Failure – wow isn’t that an ominous word. It is a word that strikes fear in many. It is the excuse or reason many use to stay stuck. The definition of failure, as defined by the Webster Dictionary, is “a state or condition of not meeting a desirable or intended objective, opposite of success”.

 

Have you ever heard the statement; “I couldn’t possibly do that, what if it didn’t work out – what if I failed”? If you knew you could not fail, what would you do? If you were guaranteed success what would you attempt?

 

I can hear you already, yeah but there is no such guarantee, it is more likely that I am going to fail then it is that I will succeed. Just take a look at my past that is proof enough for anyone to agree. So what is the sense in “dreaming” or “wishing” about something I know will not happen - success?

 

Let’s take a deeper look at failure and why I believe that there is such a guarantee and that no one fails if they choose not to. 

 

First - What is your definition of failure?

 

Second - Where in your life do you believe you failed?

 

Third - Would you be happier only if you could erase all those failures from your past?

 

Okay, so what does your definition of failure look like? Is it the grim negative definition that Webster uses, is it the direct opposite of success? My definition is a little less depressing. I define failure as my unwillingness to learn from my mistakes. I believe that failures, or not meeting our intended goal or outcomes, are put into our world to teach us something. So when I attempt to accomplish something and it doesn’t work out the way I envisioned it, then I say to myself; okay, well that didn’t work out exactly how I wanted it to, but what can I learn about myself as a result? Only my own unwillingness to learn something is the failure.

 

I have a whole list of examples I could share with you, but one big one is my divorce. Pretty much by anyone’s standards a divorce is a failure. So how did I turn this around into a success? I just looked at my definition of failure and started to look at my marriage and figured out what I learned about myself and what I gained from being in the marriage. I then saved this information for use in any future relationships so I won’t make the same mistakes again. As long as I am willing to learn and grow from my experiences, it’s not truly a failure then is it?

 

So even though my marriage ended in divorce, I would not have wanted to erase the experience. If it did not happen, then I would not have learned and gained all that I did from the experience and as a result would not be the person I am today.

Now that you know that you are in control of your successes and/or failures let me ask you the questions again – “If you knew you could not fail, what would you do? If you were guaranteed success what would you attempt?” Make a list and start today, because you now know there is no such thing as failure.

Would you find it easier to step outside your comfort zone and take that risk if you had someone by your side? Or are you ready stop viewing your divorce as a failure?  If so contact me today for a sample coaching session.